Guard Duty

The problem with guarding the Fountain of Youth was that it was just so boring.  All it did was sit there, and all Fred did was sit there too.  It had been interesting when he'd first arrived, all exotic and scenic.  But now that the standard metal fences had gone up, and the standard booth had been installed, it had lost that mystic charm and been reduced to just another attraction to be watched overnight.  Fred stretched and flicked his gaze over the CCTV monitors in the booth.  They showed the same as they had ten minutes ago, and the same as they had yesterday, and the same as they had the month before and for the past year.  Boring.
But wait!  A jeep, approaching from the south...
He leaned forward and watched it trundle up the road towards his booth.  It stopped just around the corner.
"Oh come on, stop arguing about whether it's a good idea or not and come try and talk me into letting you in."
Finally the jeep set off again, and he looked up to see headlights rounding the corner.  With a grin on his face he straightened his tie, checked his weapon holster and clicked on his torch.  He then stepped out of the booth and waved the jeep to stop.
A young woman wound down the driver-side window.
"Oh hello," she said, flustered.
"Can I help you miss?" Fred replied with his sternest expression, while flashing the torch into the faces of the car's occupants.  Three women, all in their early twenties.
"Oh erm, well, we were just wondering if you'd let us in to see the fountain?"  She gave her best smile, although it didn't reach her eyes.
"No."
"Oh well, uh, ok, sorry to bother you."  She started to wind the window back up.
"Now, wait just a minute!" Fred stopped her in her tracks.
"Yes, sir?"  The woman's eyes had grown wide and fearful.
"That's all you're going to try to get in?  Ask me nicely?  Come on.  There's three of you.  Maybe you could try to rush me, tie me up and steal my keycard, eh?"
"What?"
"No?  Well how about I pretend to be asleep?  You can get in and then I can stop you once you're inside the fence... be all like, "FREEZE OR I'LL SHOOT!""
"We don't want any trouble..." the woman quickly started to wind the window shut again.
"How far did you travel to get here tonight?  Don't give up so easily!  I'll give you a good head start!"
The woman slammed the jeep into reverse and roared backwards, away from Fred, then performed an excellent J-turn, and careered around the corner and out of sight.
Fred watched them go with a chuckle, then returned to his booth, put his feet up and pulled his cap down, and went to sleep, same as he did every night.